fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
