i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
