That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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