You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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