Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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