Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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