do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
