TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
