I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
