D3 body, D1 cock
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
