do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
