I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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