the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
