HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
