I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
