I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Green mimosas i think yes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will be naked everywhere
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
