Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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