i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
