i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
