yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
