Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize