Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
