Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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