Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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