so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
