There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
