good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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