i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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