He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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