i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
