last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
