A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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