epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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