I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
