i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
