....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
