i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
