I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize