I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
