he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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