Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
