My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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