I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
