peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No subtext here. People are naked.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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