is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
