Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize