You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
