I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
