the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
