Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

(818): View more from California

haha i love mojitos

(760): View more from California

ya and i hate cabbage

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(760): I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage. (818): haha i love mojitos (760): ya and i hate cabbage http://tfl.nu/vdoy

Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (2073)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.

(541): View more from Oregon

Together?

(847): View more from Illinois

Preferably.

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(847): So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch. (541): Together? (847): Preferably. http://tfl.nu/lik5

Replies (21) Good night (3400) Bad night (623)
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(251): View more from Alabama

About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way

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(251): About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way http://tfl.nu/3xnz

Replies (9) Good night (3399) Bad night (670)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.

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(612): I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out. http://tfl.nu/8phs

Replies (56) Good night (1034) Bad night (14123)
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(408): View more from California

Maybe my heart is located in my vagina

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(408): Maybe my heart is located in my vagina http://tfl.nu/huf2

Replies (18) Good night (5431) Bad night (1310)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.

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(636): Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape. http://tfl.nu/3ikt

Replies (3) Good night (1872) Bad night (953)
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(806): View more from Texas

Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.

(1-806): View more from Texas

Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.

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(806): Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk. (1-806): Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess. http://tfl.nu/c175

Replies (15) Good night (2600) Bad night (1197)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.

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(401): just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point. http://tfl.nu/mbzv

Replies (10) Good night (2143) Bad night (940)
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(708): View more from Illinois

is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro

(773): View more from Illinois

yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.

(708): View more from Illinois

how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?

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(708): is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro (773): yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house. (708): how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience? http://tfl.nu/hgr9

Replies (10) Good night (5373) Bad night (825)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text

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(303): Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text http://tfl.nu/3l29

Replies (9) Good night (587) Bad night (1558)
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(682): View more from Texas

I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

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(682): I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face http://tfl.nu/zwwu

Replies (16) Good night (5548) Bad night (1215)
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(209): View more from California

Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.

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(209): Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way. http://tfl.nu/s3aa

Replies (5) Good night (1798) Bad night (499)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party

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(580): the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party http://tfl.nu/1oc7

Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (477)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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(618): Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher? http://tfl.nu/1k5x

Replies (3) Good night (397) Bad night (401)
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(802): View more from Vermont

all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.

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(802): all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that. http://tfl.nu/3y8k

Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (288)

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