dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
