you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize