Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
  Replies (8) Good night (5331) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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  (843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn
  Replies (17) Good night (4000) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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  (651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. http://tfl.nu/i2sm
  Replies (33) Good night (6856) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.

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  (678): Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth. http://tfl.nu/d54p
  Replies (9) Good night (3633) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?

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  (570): Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips? http://tfl.nu/n3qx
  Replies (19) Good night (3362) Bad night (3483)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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  (985): I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka http://tfl.nu/h91z
  Replies (10) Good night (2374) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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  (713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y
  Replies (5) Good night (1687) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now

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  (204): I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now http://tfl.nu/tcbl
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

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  (701): I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/5jp7
  Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

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  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

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  (919): You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced http://tfl.nu/qaoy
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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  (517): Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's? http://tfl.nu/t57e
  Replies (6) Good night (726) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville

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  (217): I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville http://tfl.nu/saxt
  Replies (0) Good night (957) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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  (708): Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/gvhn
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (241)

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