Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  This dress was meant to end up on your floor

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  (561): This dress was meant to end up on your floor http://tfl.nu/t8yv
  Replies (7) Good night (3946) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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  (763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481
  Replies (16) Good night (4871) Bad night (703)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

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  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (1013) Bad night (6370) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see

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  (843): it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see http://tfl.nu/5bmk
  Replies (12) Good night (970) Bad night (3171) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  lets call myth busters

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  (305): i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot (1-305): lets call myth busters http://tfl.nu/n34m
  Replies (23) Good night (6198) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

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  (603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (2524)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.

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  (508): he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/n2tk
  Replies (4) Good night (1753) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (420): View more from

  It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.

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  (420): It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own. http://tfl.nu/cuwi
  Replies (6) Good night (1379) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  (544): I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling. http://tfl.nu/vpgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1564) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2118) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.

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  (905): No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created. http://tfl.nu/pt0u
  Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (657) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (499) Bad night (2667) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?

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  (309): I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? http://tfl.nu/0fxz
  Replies (7) Good night (356) Bad night (804)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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  (647): He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well. http://tfl.nu/9cil
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (139)

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