Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink