Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
