You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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