North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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