I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
