my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
