Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
