Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
