This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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