dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
