rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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