Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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