if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
