Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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